Conflict can often be inevitable. Many people have contrasting opinions because of different upbringings, surroundings and experiences, which can be a trigger for conflict. You can end up in conflict with anyone, whether it’s someone you don’t know, someone you’re friends with or a family member. One of the best methods to help resolve conflict is to practice and understand empathy. Empathy is a more productive alternative to shutting down emotionally or becoming defensive. Practicing and understanding the importance of empathy is a helpful life skill in all aspects. Using empathy for conflict resolution can help you grow emotionally and see other’s thoughts from a different perspective. Learn how to practice empathy and the impact it has on conflict resolution.
Let’s Define Empathy
What is the meaning of the word empathy? This term describes a combination of experiences. Empathy is allowing yourself to sense and attempt to understand other’s emotions and use these feelings to imagine how and why a person is feeling a certain way. Has someone ever told you to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes? This expression can relate to how people practice empathy and try to connect to another person or see things from their point of view. In short, empathy is putting yourself in another person’s position and understanding why they feel or think a certain way. People adapt to practicing empathy at different paces. Some people find it more natural to absorb other people’s emotions and feelings, while others find the process more challenging. Empathy is something that needs practice to effectively understand a person’s perspective. Some signs that can show you’re an empathetic person may be that others share that you’re a great listener, that you care a lot about others, you always lend a helping hand and people often come to you for advice. Empathy can make you more concerned for a person’s well-being or overall happiness and can sometimes feel overwhelming when you continually feel others’ emotions. Researchers recognize two different types of empathy — emotional empathy and cognitive empathy. Emotional empathy, or affective empathy, includes three different factors. First, you’ll feel the same feeling that the other person is experiencing. Second, you’ll recognize your own distress after feeling the other person’s emotions. Third, you’ll have a better grasp at why this person is feeling this way and might feel compassion or understanding towards them. Cognitive empathy describes the ability to understand with mentally process the feelings and emotions of other people. Cognitive empathy allows you to have nearly a complete understanding of what the other person is thinking. You both feel their emotions and comprehend why they’re expressing themselves this way. Cognitive empathy can require more practice than emotional empathy, which sometimes comes naturally to people.
How to Be More Empathetic
Research shows that people start to experience feelings of empathy as young as infancy. Babies can begin experiencing emotional empathy through their caregivers. Cognitive empathy is practiced later on, around the ages of 3 or 4 years old. While people begin to experience these feelings at a young age, it’s beneficial to continue to practice empathy as people mature. Empathy is a skill that humans must work at and practice continually. Your ability to empathize with others is something you can nurture every day to become a more empathetic person and impact your relationships with loved ones and others around you. Processing empathy and taking steps to become more empathetic can help you practice radical empathy. Radical empathy takes putting yourself in someone else’s shoes a step further and helps you make an impact on others and society. Learn how to be empathetic with these helpful tips for empathy:
- Meet new people: People get comfortable with their surroundings. Relationships and the people you surround yourself with are often the core of your feelings and thoughts. You can expand your understanding of others and practice empathy by talking to new people. Opening up your curiosity to others you don’t know can help you see what other’s lives are like. Try and find someone who has a different background to you, whether it be their religion, the state they’re from, their political views or anything that will give you insight into another lifestyle. It’s also helpful to invite close friends or family to lunch and ask deeper questions to gain a better understanding of others.
- Try being another person for a day: A main component of empathy is putting yourself in someone else shoes, but you can better your empathy skills by taking it a step further. Really put yourself in someone else life and see what their days are like. An example of this method is attending a friend’s house of worship to understand a part of their life that is important to them. Another example is considering what a teenager’s day at school is like if their behavior is worrisome. Understanding what their bus ride to school like, how hard their exams are and more scenarios can help you better empathize with them.
- Give back to the community: Volunteering with an organization that gives back to the community allows you to see how everyone can come together to help better their surroundings. You can find groups at schools, churches, community centers or other non-profit organizations that work on projects to improve the lives of others or better the community.
How Does Empathy Aid in Conflict Resolution?
Empathy is an essential tool to utilize when you’re experiencing conflict with someone. Practicing empathy allows you to engage more in a conversation and understand why a person has these strong feelings that could be contributing to the conflict. Your goal in practicing empathy is to mirror the other person to help process all of the free-flowing thoughts and emotions you’re both expressing. Rather than heightening emotions and fueling the opposing views, it gives both sides a chance to calm down and process everything you and the other person are sharing. Using empathy in conflict helps enhance the chances of a productive conversation and showing compassion towards others. When you find yourself in conflict with someone you love or care about, empathy can help strengthen your relationship rather than hinder it. You can achieve resolutions quicker and more efficiently when you prevent escalating feelings of anger or disappointment.
Seek Guidance With Merrimack Valley Psychological Associates
Practicing empathy to help with conflict resolution is a skill that many people can always improve. If you’re searching for guidance on processing empathy and using it productively in your relationships, contact the clinicians at Merrimack Valley Psychological Associates today. We offer counseling services and support for various ages and reasons. Our clinicians can provide resources to help you practice empathy in times of conflict. 
Reviewed By
Dr. David Rainen, PsyD.
I am a licensed clinical psychologist with an extensive background treating a variety of different ages, situations, emotional and mental health disorders in individuals and their families. As part of my 10 year professional and training career in psychology, I have developed and refined my skills and approaches through my work in a variety of diverse settings including: hospitals, community outpatient facilities, college counseling centers, secure and unsecure inpatient/residential treatment programs, and therapeutic day schools.