How to Talk to Family About Politics and Other Challenging Topics

Political conversations can seem unavoidable — it’s on the news, social media and everywhere you walk and talk. It’s happening between friends and colleagues and, most likely, around your family. Politics is often a sensitive subject. Some may have strong opinions they want to share, whereas others keep their opinions to themselves. Some may fear their relationships will be impacted if they have different political views. But, is the same true when talking politics with family?

So, how do you discuss politics with family members? How can you have a healthy debate, find common ground or respectfully disagree with others? Here are some tips on talking politics and how to discuss controversial issues with family members.

How to Respectfully Disagree With Someone

When discussing controversial issues with family, the aim is not always to be right but to maintain a healthy relationship. So, sometimes, if you cannot understand each other’s views or opinions, it’s just better to respectfully disagree. Here are some strategies you can use to do just that.

1. Listen Actively

Being a good listener goes a long way. Hearing what your family member is trying to say shows that you respect them and want to understand their perspective. Chances are, if you show that you’re genuinely listening, then they will do the same for you.

Having a healthy debate means that one person is conveying their message while the other one is listening, and vice versa. As your family member is talking, try to keep yourself from thinking about what you will say next or why you disagree.

2. Ask Questions

This tip goes hand in hand with the previous one. While you actively listen to what the other person is saying, it may provoke a few questions. Seek clarification where needed to show you were engaged while the other person was speaking. This demonstrates respect and an authentic curiosity to better understand their perspective.

3. Express Your Views Calmly

After your family has had their say, express your views calmly. Use “I” statements. Framing your responses in this way helps to focus on your thoughts and feelings. You can say something like “I feel differently because…” or “From my perspective…” This approach can also help prevent discussions from escalating into arguments. Plus, you’ll articulate your perspective while showing that you value others’ opinions.

4. Be Respectful and Polite

While you discuss politics with family members, remain polite — even if you disagree with them. Doing so can help create an atmosphere of mutual respect and help one another have open and honest conversations. A nice added benefit of remaining calm and polite is that it can increase the likelihood of you being heard and understood.

5. Stay Focused on the Issue

Keep the conversation on the topic, not each other. Throw any personal attacks out the window. Otherwise, the conversation can escalate very quickly and become personal or emotionally charged, derailing any productive dialogue. Stick to the topic at hand using facts and evidence to keep the chat clear and constructive.

6. Find Common Ground

Just because you’re having a debate with your family doesn’t mean you can’t find common ground. Try to identify any shared values or understandings. This may help ease tensions during your discussions. Finding common ground can also shift the conversation’s tone to a more positive and cooperative one.

7. Be Open to Compromise

Stay flexible! Be willing to adjust your stance if new information comes up or if the chat leads to a productive compromise. Suggest continuing the conversation at another time if emotions run too high.

8. Know When to Agree to Disagree

Sometimes, you just can’t find common ground — and that’s alright! It may be best to acknowledge that you two won’t reach an agreement. Move on and set boundaries on the specific topic. The aim of a debate or disagreement isn’t to end up with a damaged relationship.

9. Follow Up With Kindness

Perhaps things got heated and emotions ran high. After the disagreement, follow up with a friendly gesture or a different conversation. This shows that your relationship is more important than any disagreement. It helps mend any potential rifts by demonstrating that — despite differing opinions — you still care and respect your family member.

How to Convince Someone of Your Perspective

Many factors can impact whether you can persuade someone. For instance, it depends on who you’re discussing with and whether they’re open to a healthy debate or challenging their own beliefs. However, there are a few tips and tricks for understanding how to persuade someone about politics and other controversial issues. Remember, persuasion is an art, not a science. Here are some strategies to consider.

Build a trusting relationship: Your relationship with the person is an integral part of persuasion. A strong, respectful connection where both of you feel safe sharing your thoughts is essential. When trust is there, your opinions are more likely to be heard and considered.
Choose the right time and place: Timing is everything! Pick a calm, private setting with little to no distractions. Avoid bringing up controversial topics during stressful or emotionally charged situations — that can just add fuel to the fire. Getting both of these right can make having a meaningful conversation much easier.
Use empathy: Try to see things from their viewpoint and acknowledge their feelings — and make that clear to them. Empathy can soften their defenses and open the door to authentic discussions.
Share personal stories: Personal experiences can be powerful. Adding a personal touch by explaining how an issue affects you can create a deeper emotional connection and make your viewpoint more relatable.
Encourage open dialogue: Invite your family member to to share their thoughts and listen to them actively. Doing so will help them feel heard and valued and can make it easier to find common ground.
Be patient: Changing minds takes time. Try not to rush the conversation and give them time to process and reflect on everything you’ve talked about. The conversation will evolve naturally.
Present logical arguments: Sometimes, facts, statistics, examples and well-reasoned logic can speak volumes. Clear, rational arguments can make your perspective more persuasive and harder to dismiss. Try not to overwhelm your family member with too much information.
Address counterarguments respectfully: Anticipate objections. Convincing someone of your perspective may come with concerns and arguments — don’t dismiss them. Provide rebuttals thoughtfully through respectful language.
Focus on solutions: We want results! Talk about how your perspective can lead to positive outcomes or solutions — which addresses both of your concerns. Focusing on a solution for both of you based on your side of the argument can help make your position more appealing.

We’re Here to Help You Navigate Family Conversations

Talking politics and other tricky topics with family can be tough, but it’s possible to do so while keeping your relationships strong. At Merrimack Valley Psychological Associates, we understand how these conversations can stir up a lot of feelings and stress.

Our friendly and compassionate team is here to help you navigate these discussions with care and understanding. If you find it hard to balance these conversations or just need extra support, we’re here for you.