Signs You May Benefit From Couples Counseling

Every relationship works differently and has its own unique challenges. You may argue more often than you used to or disagree about the next steps in your relationship. The tension can cause unnecessary stress and challenges in your personal life. There are many reasons for couples therapy, which vary between each partnership. Below, we’ll explain why couples counseling is important and the benefits you and your partner can experience by speaking with a couples counselor.

Wondering If You Need Couples Counseling?

Regular maintenance and care are essential for your relationship, even if no problems currently exist. While couples counseling can be helpful for healthy couples, it can be a handy tool for couples experiencing challenges. If you’re wondering whether you need couples therapy, there are a few signs you can look for:

• You’re navigating a new phase in your life: New life milestones, such as getting married, having a child, getting a new job or moving to a new city, can be stressful and cause tension in your relationship. If you’re struggling to maneuver these life changes with your partner, it may be time to try couples counseling.
• The negative experiences outweigh the positive: There’s a “magic ratio” in relationships that states that for every negative experience, there are five positive ones. If you start to notice that your relationship is having more negative experiences than positive, it’s likely an indication that you and your partner need couples counseling.
• You’re constantly bickering and arguing: As a couple, you and your significant other should be a team. If you’re always arguing, trying to one-up each other or bickering about the smallest disagreements, it’s a good indication that you might need couples therapy.
• You avoid talking about your problems: Avoiding talking about issues or making up excuses to prevent conflict is a sign you and your partner need to work on communication. Couples therapy can help you learn techniques that allow you to talk about problems calmly and rationally.
• You have the same arguments and can’t reach a resolution: If you keep having the same argument over and over again, it might be a sign that you have a deeply rooted problem in your partnership. You can help resolve this problem by attending couples counseling and analyzing your issues with a professional.
• You’re more like roommates than loving partners: The honeymoon phase makes every moment feel like fireworks in the beginning, but it takes effort to maintain the feeling as the relationship continues. Couples therapy can help reignite the spark you feel like you’ve lost.
• You’re having difficulty understanding each other: Sometimes, it can seem like you and your partner are speaking a different language. You might say one thing, and your partner interprets it differently. A couples counselor can help you understand how you and your partner communicate to adapt and work together better.

Even if you’re not experiencing these challenges, healthy couples can still attend couples counseling to build their communication skills and foster their connection. Building these skills before a problem occurs helps prevent challenges from severely impacting your relationship.

9 Reasons You May Benefit From Couples’ Counseling

Whether you and your partner are having problems or are in a great place in your relationship, there are many benefits of marriage counseling, including:

1. A deeper understanding of your relationship: Every relationship is unique, and the dynamic works differently. Couples counseling can help you determine if there’s balance in your relationship and understand patterns, the good and the bad. A deeper understanding can help you and your partner heal and develop a stronger bond.
2. Access to an impartial listener: A couples therapist is a neutral third party that listens to you and your partner’s concerns. They can provide professional feedback and advice to help foster the bond between both parties. It’s often helpful to see your relationship from a new, unbiased lens.
3. Creates a safe space for discussion: If you’re in conflict with your significant other, it can be challenging to feel safe while voicing your feelings. You must be vulnerable and honest with your partner to resolve conflict, which can be a challenge. Couples counseling creates a safe space for you to discuss your genuine feelings with your partner, and your counselor can intervene if necessary. In this safe space, you and your partner will be able to communicate effectively.
4. Allows you to understand your partner’s perspective: It’s common to view a relationship through one lens and put your feelings first, but deeply understanding your partner can help you understand their point of view. A couples counselor can help you see both sides to get to the fundamental cause of the problem. You’ll learn how to practice empathy to resolve conflict and see things from a different perspective.
5. Resolves roadblocks: Major decisions and small challenges can create roadblocks in relationships. A couples counselor can help you understand the underlying cause of these roadblocks and give you the tools necessary to resolve them.
6. The opportunity to learn new coping skills: Every relationship will experience challenges at some point. Couples counseling can help you develop skills to help you navigate difficult emotions that might be causing hardship in your relationship. You’ll also learn skills to help you deal with emotions or challenges before they occur.
7. Provides a space to clarify your feelings on the relationship: Couples therapy can help you understand what you want from your relationship, clarifying your feelings. It can also help you determine if you and your partner are on the same page and how to get there if you’re not.
8. Builds and restores trust in your partner: Trust is an essential part of every relationship. Therapy allows you to discover where the lack of trust began and how to restore it. Couples therapy can also help you deepen your bond and create a strong foundation.
9. Deepens your intimacy and connection: Intimacy can become a problem for many couples over the course of their relationships. Couples therapy can help you rekindle the spark by ensuring each person feels loved and understood.

Pursue Couples’ Counseling in the Andover Area

Couples counseling can benefit every couple, whether the relationship is healthy or currently experiencing challenges. Couples counseling can help you find the root of the problem and relieve daily stress so you and your partner can build a successful and loving relationship. If you’re considering couples counseling, look no further than Merrimack Valley Psychological Associates. Our team of clinicians can help you improve your relationship and aid in big life decisions. We’re here to help you navigate the challenges of romantic relationships and accommodate your needs to find the treatment method that’s right for you and your partner. Contact us today to schedule an appointment or learn more about our services.

Reviewed By

Dr. David Rainen, PsyD. 

I am a licensed clinical psychologist with an extensive background treating a variety of different ages, situations, emotional and mental health disorders in individuals and their families.  As part of my 10 year professional and training career in psychology, I have developed and refined my skills and approaches through my work in a variety of diverse settings including: hospitals, community outpatient facilities, college counseling centers, secure and unsecure inpatient/residential treatment programs, and therapeutic day schools.